I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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