I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
