I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
