carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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