Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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