Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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