hotel room ftw
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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