after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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