Need sex. Gaining weight.
I look better un-naked...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
