brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I accidentally had phone sex last night
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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