i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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