dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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