he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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