You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Randomize
