I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
