Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
