that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
