Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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