I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We are all done wearing pants today
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
