Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
