oh god the rape fog is back!
Apparently you make a good broom.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
