Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
