I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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