i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
