she was so not down for the gang bang
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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