my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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