bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
