She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
