fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I had to cum in my sink.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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