as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
