Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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