Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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