now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
