Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
