I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
