You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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