There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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