i jhust puked up my retainher.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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