Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
