He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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