Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
