I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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