Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
even my farts smell like vagina
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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