I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I don't think brook has ever known best
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
