i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
