I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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