pop tarts are not kleenex
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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