Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
