How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Yo dont text me then not text me
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
false alarm, still single
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