would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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