I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize