Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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