Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
