So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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