I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
