...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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