In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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