I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
