We're facebook friends in real life
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize