I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize