Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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